Movie Plot: Anthony Albanese attempts to become Australian dictator after a China-US war in early 2025 but it does not go to plan! Eventually, Peter Dutton becomes prime minister with the same goals as Albanese. An Australian Collins class submarine sinks because it is rusty and Donald Trump demands more money from Australia for AUKUS because he thinks anything built in Australia will sink. Peter Dutton seeks to personally profit from expropriated Chinese assets with the help of Donald Trump Jr.

Characters at time of the War:

Prime Minister Albanese; Defence Minister Marles; Foreign Affairs Minister Wong; Treasurer Chalmers; Attorney-General Dreyfus; PM’s Chief-of-Staff Gartrell; Secretary of Department of PM&C Davis; Secretary of Treasury Kennedy; Minister of Defence Industry and Capability Delivery Conroy Luke Gosling; Tanya Plibersek; Mike Burgess of ASIO. Journalists Greg Sheridan, David Speers, Cameron Stewart and Nick McKenzie. Premiers: NSW Minns, Vic Allan, Qld Miles, WA Cook, Tas Rockliff, SA Malinauskas.

New Characters in Parts 5 to 11:

Peter Dutton; Simon Birmingham; Angus Taylor, Andrew Hastie; Michaella Cash; Dan Tehan; Dave Sharma; Journalists Paul Kelly and Michelle Gratton; Alex Ryvchin; Mike Pezzullo

Scene 93: Public Service Office

Trade Minister Birmingham, Treasurer Angus Taylor, Minister for Immigration Dan Tehan, Defence Minister Hastie are meeting.

Tehan: “It’s been over six months since the war. Why is Trump only now demanding more money for AUKUS?”

Hastie: “I think he just wants the UK dropped from AUKUS to give AUS, and for US built Virginia submarines to be based in Australia rather than build subs in Adelaide.”

Birmingham: “Its chaos and more chaos! Trump is still jumping all over the place with views and orders. It’s amazing that anything is still working in the government. The sinking of the Collins is just a moment of comparative success for him and an excuse to demand money from a sucker.”

Taylor: “It also looks like the Trump-Musk tandem is finally over. Those earlier false reports of his arrest and release – for whatever reason – should have clearly told us that the anti-China crowd was gunning for him.”

Tehan: “Just as importantly, were the huge clash of egos.”

Birmingham: “Now that Minns has my job at foreign affairs it seems likely that Mike Pezzullo will be appointed head of PM&C to get Australia more focussed on defence.”

Tehan: “You say ‘my job at foreign affairs!’ So, you now know how I felt when I lost my citizenship job to Sharma!”

Birmingham: “Yeah!”

Scene 94: Prime Minister’s Office:

Dutton is meeting with Mike Pezzullo, who has just been appointed Secretary of the Department of Prime Minister Cabinet after Minns is appointed to the Senate, Attorney-General Michaella Cash; and his chief of staff Alex Dalgeish.

Cash: “We are making progress! Federal Court Chief Justice Debra Mortimer says reason for cancelling elections can be kept secret on national security grounds.”

Pezzullo: “Great! When does it go to High Court?”

Cash: “Uncertain about this. And also uncertain about the likely result. Jillian Segal is with us but it will be a close call overall.”

Pezzullo: “Now that I am head of PM&C I think I need to know more about ASIO. Was Minns its head?”

Dutton: “Yes, but we are going to appoint Justin Bassi of ASPI.”

Pezzullo: “My God! The guy is a fuck-wit!”

Dutton: “Yes, but an obedient fuck-wit!”

Pezzullo: “You sound like Mussolini. When the appointment of Starace as General Secretary of the Fascist Party was criticised because he was a ‘cretino’, Mussolini replied: ‘I know. But he is an obedient cretino’.”

Dalgeish: “You’ve been reading Jeff Schubert’s book on dictators?”

Pezzullo: “Yes.”

Dutton: “Will you two please stop trying to show how smart you are? We know that you can read!”

Pezzullo: “Has anythng more been found out about Jagot?”

Cash: “Nothing. The police know who did it, but they only seem to know that they were paid by The Broker.”

Dutton: “Pity we can’t find a China angle! We have done quite well in persuading people that China had something to do with Marles’ death.”

Scene 95: Public Service Office

Pezzullo is meeting with Secretary of the Treasury Kennedy.

Pezzullo: “I have forgotten. What pro-noun do you prefer?”

Kennedy: “I didn’t know that you worried about such things. You can call me Steven.”

Pezzullo: “Minns told me that you were working on the Chinese property issue.”

Kennedy: “Yes. But the Treasurer has not indicated that it is a priority issue.”

Pezzullo: “Well Dutton wants some action. If Trump can confiscate Chinese property in the US then we can. We must show loyalty for the sake of AUKUS.”

Kennedy: “I hear that there is a lot of doubt in the defence department that nuclear submarines can be built in Adelaide.”

Pezzullo: “Probably not! It doesn’t matter. We are really paying money the preserve the alliance with the US.”

Scene 96: Press Gallery

David Speers: “Wow! Sky News says Nick McKenzie has been arrested for sexual assault.”

Stewart: “Does it say who was the victim?”

Speers: “Nothing yet. But it was in Canberra.”

Michelle Gratton: “I have been expecting something like this. His article about Minns, ASIO and the Broker were bound to get a response.”

Spears: “You think it could be a set-up?”

Sheridan: “With Lucy McCallum as Chief Justice in Canberra and the ACT anything can happen.”

Speers: “OK. I agree that the idea that Brittany Higgins was raped is a joke. She lay there waiting to get fucked but fell asleep. But it was not a conspiracy.”

Sheridan: “But, what about Cardinal Pell? It was clearly a conspiracy!”

Scene 97: Parliament House Office

Foreign Minister Minns is meeting with Citizenship Minister Sharma

Minns: “I’ve got the bastard! McKenzie won’t be writing anymore articles about me. This sexual assault allegation will keep him busy.”

Sharma: “You arranged it? How?”

Minns: “There is always someone who wants to be famous, and there is always someone who wants to be famous a second time. Louise Milligan is looking to resurrect her career and I am helping her!”

Sharma: “Who did he assault?”

Minns: “I organized it when I ran ASIO. Actually he didn’t do it, but Milligan thinks it relates to national security. She can write and talk about it – but not too much.”

Sharma: “Its all bullshit?”

Minns: “Of course! But it will keep McKenzie busy for some time.”

Sharma: “What about Iran. Can we cut off diplomatic relations and push Trump to attack its nuclear sites?”

Minns: “Yes. But one step at a time!”

Scene 98: Public Service Office

Trade Minister Birmingham, Treasurer Angus Taylor, Minister for Immigration Dan Tehan, Defence Minister Hastie are meeting.

Birmingham: “Angus. How is the Chinese property issue going?”

Taylor: “Mike Pezzullo is hounding Kennedy in the same way Minns did. I met with Kennedy this morning and he has a plan. Basically, the first step is that we will ask Trump’s business mates to tell us what Chinese assets in Australia they would like and nationalise them. Then sell the stuff.”

Birmingham: “Will Australian companies get a go?”

Taylor: “Yes. They will get first bite at the cherry. And if anything is left after Trump’s mates, the Brits can have a go.”

Tehan: “Sounds very AUKUS.”

Taylor: “Actually, I am sure that Dutton and Minns will claim that it as part of AUKUS Pillar Two.”

Hastie: “It needs something to keep it alive. Trump has totally scared people with his unpredictability. Investing in Pillar Two could always suddenly become a very bad bet.”

Tehan: “On the AUKUS issue. Anything news on the Pillar One submarines.”

Hastie: “It refuses to die, or at least admit defeat! Vice-Admiral Mark Hammond is a submarine fanatic and keeps boasting that he is the ‘first head of Australia’s nuclear navy’.”

Tehan: “He just wants to try to divert attention from his role in Collins and rust!”

Hastie: “Well, he is right that the US Virginia subs sometimes visit Australian ports, but otherwise he has some psychological problems.”

Scene 99: Prime Minister’s Office

Dutton is on the phone: “It’s a great opportunity. If we can confidentially line up the funds we can get good Chinese assets on the cheap. I will be in charge of the process – not Angus Taylor and Treasury!”

Dutton listens for a while before asking: “Don Jr. or Eric?”